(a note to myself for) getting past the first week
I've been to Spain three times. Each trip has been 6-8 weeks long. My first time to Spain was definitely the hardest for the longest: I was horrifically homesick, overwhelmed with language, and totally unexperienced. I had no idea what to expect or how to get over it. When I came to Camarma last year, I remember having a rough first weekend; it oriented around coming home on a Friday to no wifi, which meant no FaceTiming home and no Netflix binge as planned. Other than that, and the initial hard goodbyes (which I swear will always be hard), I had a pretty smooth transition. This time was a new kind of difficult. My internship stressed me out to the max. Even after a week, maybe a little longer, I was really intimidated and anxious about my internship. Once the shock of living alone and initial culture shock or whatever it is wore off, I was better.
Without a doubt, saying goodbye and leaving whoever drops me off at the airport is the hardest step for me in going abroad. It's like all of the emotions decide to show up in one drive to the airport. Even though I had Pilar waiting for me in Madrid at the airport this time when I left, it was still a teary goodbye in Indy. The second hardest part, or maybe tied for first, is getting through the first week. On day one of a 2-month long stay, the next 6+ weeks seem so daunting.
I still am far from mastering the seamless transition from America to Spain (and from Spain to America- that's just as hard or harder, in different ways), but I am at least much more aware of patterns and fixes for overcoming the initial paralysing stress of getting to a different country. The "typical cycle" for cultural adjustment usually begins with a "honeymoon phase," but I almost seem to bypass that and go straight to culture shock/homesickness/discontentment. Here are tips that served as reminders for me in the transition process.
1. Keep the calendar full. Ironically, this time, I think my fully booked calendar added stress to the front end of my trip. Having only 2 "down" weekends really overwhelmed me. But what I mean by "keep the calendar full," I guess, is to stock up on and plan small excursions that can be tackled in an afternoon. It's amazing the rush and confidence boost that comes from navigating the public transit to a tourist destination, visiting the site, enjoying a meal out, and getting back home again. I didn't do anything too crazy at all. I made a bucket list for the summer (post coming soon) and for my first week, and having particular things- no matter how small- to do for the week gave me the push I needed to get out the door and start adjusting. I also think it's important to start as a tourist. Even if you'd rather explore the *cool and trendy* things instead of the touristy sights, taking a tour or going to a museum is a good way to kill some time, start to check some things off a "to-see" list, and get comfortable in the area.
2. Allow yourself time to adjust. As hard as my first 5 or so days were, I knew that I would be over the initial shock of being back abroad soon enough. While I cried on the phone with my mom or with Pilar, I knew that I'd be fine in less than a week. Even though it might feel silly or immature or pathetic or whatever other feeling, it's almost impossible for me to not cry in the first few days. I think something that I've improved on through my three trips is letting myself feel the emotions. I am also the last person likely to tell other people about how I'm feeling, but it's also critical to be honest about whatever emotions are going on. After showing up at work puffy-eyed on my second day, my coworkers obviously figured out I'd been crying, but I also let them know I was still transitioning. 9/10 people understand and admire you anyways for doing something so brave in the first place. I really haven't encountered the other 1 out of 10 who thinks less of you for crying, but I'm sure he or she's out there, which is why I kept it at 90% ;)
3. Manage relationships at home appropriately. I've got plenty of people at home, and I could easily fill all day every day with keeping up with them via phone call, FaceTime, etc. I think that keeping in touch with home is super important and in a way makes the abroad experience more authentic and real. It's really important to talk about different things you're doing and seeing, and it's also good to hear what's going on at home. In the first week, you might need to call home every day- or even twice a day- and that's okay. On the other hand, it would be very easy to fall into a trap of consuming all your time with managing these relationships at home. I've been much better this time, I think, about limiting my social media use and being a bit more disconnected from home. Retrospectively, I always wish I had more time in Spain, and I think this is one of the easiest, sneakiest ways to eat up time, so stay in touch but do it wisely.
4. Figure out a routine. I don't do the same thing every day of every week, but I have a rough "template" routine that I've followed this time in Spain. For me, staying on top of sleep and exercise are huge to how I feel, so they both have to be first and foremost in my routine. Beyond that, I am pretty flexible and open to whatever. Having some sort of routine- even loose- is seriously helpful to feeling more natural, in control, and at home in a new environment.
Without a doubt, saying goodbye and leaving whoever drops me off at the airport is the hardest step for me in going abroad. It's like all of the emotions decide to show up in one drive to the airport. Even though I had Pilar waiting for me in Madrid at the airport this time when I left, it was still a teary goodbye in Indy. The second hardest part, or maybe tied for first, is getting through the first week. On day one of a 2-month long stay, the next 6+ weeks seem so daunting.
I still am far from mastering the seamless transition from America to Spain (and from Spain to America- that's just as hard or harder, in different ways), but I am at least much more aware of patterns and fixes for overcoming the initial paralysing stress of getting to a different country. The "typical cycle" for cultural adjustment usually begins with a "honeymoon phase," but I almost seem to bypass that and go straight to culture shock/homesickness/discontentment. Here are tips that served as reminders for me in the transition process.
1. Keep the calendar full. Ironically, this time, I think my fully booked calendar added stress to the front end of my trip. Having only 2 "down" weekends really overwhelmed me. But what I mean by "keep the calendar full," I guess, is to stock up on and plan small excursions that can be tackled in an afternoon. It's amazing the rush and confidence boost that comes from navigating the public transit to a tourist destination, visiting the site, enjoying a meal out, and getting back home again. I didn't do anything too crazy at all. I made a bucket list for the summer (post coming soon) and for my first week, and having particular things- no matter how small- to do for the week gave me the push I needed to get out the door and start adjusting. I also think it's important to start as a tourist. Even if you'd rather explore the *cool and trendy* things instead of the touristy sights, taking a tour or going to a museum is a good way to kill some time, start to check some things off a "to-see" list, and get comfortable in the area.
2. Allow yourself time to adjust. As hard as my first 5 or so days were, I knew that I would be over the initial shock of being back abroad soon enough. While I cried on the phone with my mom or with Pilar, I knew that I'd be fine in less than a week. Even though it might feel silly or immature or pathetic or whatever other feeling, it's almost impossible for me to not cry in the first few days. I think something that I've improved on through my three trips is letting myself feel the emotions. I am also the last person likely to tell other people about how I'm feeling, but it's also critical to be honest about whatever emotions are going on. After showing up at work puffy-eyed on my second day, my coworkers obviously figured out I'd been crying, but I also let them know I was still transitioning. 9/10 people understand and admire you anyways for doing something so brave in the first place. I really haven't encountered the other 1 out of 10 who thinks less of you for crying, but I'm sure he or she's out there, which is why I kept it at 90% ;)
3. Manage relationships at home appropriately. I've got plenty of people at home, and I could easily fill all day every day with keeping up with them via phone call, FaceTime, etc. I think that keeping in touch with home is super important and in a way makes the abroad experience more authentic and real. It's really important to talk about different things you're doing and seeing, and it's also good to hear what's going on at home. In the first week, you might need to call home every day- or even twice a day- and that's okay. On the other hand, it would be very easy to fall into a trap of consuming all your time with managing these relationships at home. I've been much better this time, I think, about limiting my social media use and being a bit more disconnected from home. Retrospectively, I always wish I had more time in Spain, and I think this is one of the easiest, sneakiest ways to eat up time, so stay in touch but do it wisely.
4. Figure out a routine. I don't do the same thing every day of every week, but I have a rough "template" routine that I've followed this time in Spain. For me, staying on top of sleep and exercise are huge to how I feel, so they both have to be first and foremost in my routine. Beyond that, I am pretty flexible and open to whatever. Having some sort of routine- even loose- is seriously helpful to feeling more natural, in control, and at home in a new environment.
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