awkward and awesome

This week has been super hard for me.  I'm dreading leaving Spain again- it seems like each time gets even harder.  In my opinion, it is harder to leave and go home than it is to leave home to go to Spain.  Going to Spain is expected to be hard, and it's probably more intense and rough for the first few days or even week.  Coming "home," though, is such a lengthy transition that never really seems complete or resolved.  Sometimes I fear that if I can't find a way to combine both places, I'll never be 100% content again in either place.  




To lighten the mood (mostly my own) and appreciate the good, the bad, and the ugly of both cultures, I decided to summarize the awkward and the awesome of Spain.    

The awkward:

• No personal space. It doesn’t matter where you are, aside from maybe your own home, people are going to be in your space.  But it also doesn’t bother or mean anything to the Spaniards. This is why it drives me crazy haha. “Always walk on the right”is a nonexistent rule in this culture. “Don’t sit right next to someone on the metro when there are lots of other empty seats”isn’t a Spanish social cue, evidently.  “Don’t stop in the middle of the busy sidewalk while walking and talking five-wide with your friends,”is a rule that’s never crossed their minds.
• Touching everyone. I guess this goes along with the lack of spatial boundaries, but I will never get used to men at work kissing each other on the cheeks when they greet haha.  I also won’t understand why people have to be touching each other when they talk, especially when it’s literally 100 degrees.
• Being late. Sometimes I like the flexibility of the Spanish schedule. However, other times, it has literally put me in sketchy situations, like when the last bus of the day to Sevilla left 15 minutes early after a weekend in Gibraltar.  Attractions, some transit, and definitely people seem to follow no pattern whatsoever for timing.  I can deal with this to an extent, but it really tries my patience.
• No refills. Small drinks. No free water. It just sucks.
• Not responding to things. Along with being late, my experience with Spanish schools and employees is that until something is absolutely pressing or late, you won’t get a response. Forget emailing a few weeks ahead in an effort to be proactive and avoid a last minute rush. Your email probably won’t be addressed until the day of, or never.
• Lack of air-conditioning and doll-sized appliances.  Thank goodness, my apartment had air conditioning. Regardless of the electricity use and expenses that come along with air conditioning, I really do not understand how basically 9 out of 10 Spanish households don’t have or don’t use their AC. They also talk non-stop about how hot it is (and it really is brutal June-September), so my solution would be to get AC! Aside from central air, why are all appliances so small?!? I can wash about 12 articles of clothing in my washing machine, and people either don’t have clothes driers or don’t use them.  Stoves are used for storage. The dishwasher is the only appliance I’ve seen the Spanish use consistently, and that’s the one I feel like I could live without.
• Answering questions about our president. Enough said.
• Thinking it’s a statement when it’s a question. Speech patterns are hard in Spanish. In writing, it’s really easy to tell if something is a question or exclamation since they put the punctuation before and after. In speaking? Unless someone really dramatically inflects his or her voice or I know the context of the conversation/direction it’s going, I still struggle sometimes to tell if it’s a question or a statement, and then I have some awkward responses haha.
• Beer. In Valencia this weekend while I was having breakfast around 9 am, an older couple beside me at the café sat down and each ordered beers. The waiter didn’t bat an eye.  By the time I’d left, they’d each drank three. Blech.
• El Corte Ingles. Why are they so big? Why are they everywhere? Why are all other supermarkets so small, and why do you literally have to go to three stores to get cereal, meat, and fruit when this department store also sells tires and kayaks?
• Being far from family and friends. While all of Europe is at my fingertips, it's financially impossible and extremely time consuming and exhausting to travel from the US to Europe. That's pretty much the only thing that would keep me from moving to Spain. I don't like being so far from home and my family, and even all of the awesome doesn't really outweigh that. 

The awesome:

• Friendliness. I guess this comes from the general lack of privacy, personal space, and independence in Spanish culture, but basically everyone is approachable and friendly.  Obviously it’s not all rainbows and butterflies (Camarma gossip is crazy!), but for the most part, people bend over backwards for you, even if you’re a stranger. I notice it a lot on the metro, especially towards moms with kids.  Even the oldest of men or women will get up to let a mom sit down if she’s traveling with a little one.  In the grocery store, people bag each other’s groceries. It’s actually kind of weird to watch when you’re an American used to minding your own business haha.
• The schedule. While I would never logically follow a Spanish schedule in the US, I love the Spanish rhythm.  I work from 9-2:30 or 3, which is a very typical schedule.  Most would have about 2 hours for lunch, maybe 3, and then go back to work from around 5-7 or 8.  Then, the whole night is ahead of them.  They generally eat around 9 or 10 and go to bed around after midnight.  My pattern is so different at home, but I actually love this schedule when I’m here and feel much more productive, rested, and relaxed.
• The history. Everything here is literally thousands of years old. It blows my mind, and I love learning more about it. 
• The language. That’s an obvious one for me, but it’s also more than just “speaking Spanish.” Although Spanish is primary, I can find just about any language here. The biggest difference, in my opinion, about this as opposed to a big, diverse US city is the desire to work to know other languages and the tolerance for other languages.  Spaniards sacrifice a lot (finances, time…I know a few families who’ve left everything to move to the UK for a year or two to learn English) for language learning.  While we might think it’s “cool” to know other languages, no one works that hard to learn other languages, but also no one values knowing other languages that much.
• Open mindedness. This is probably more of a rural Midwestern issue than whole US, but Spain and Europe are very liberal. I’m not necessarily liberal, but I do love Spain’s attitude towards refugees, immigration, and diversity.  In Madrid, no one thinks twice if you’re from another country or speak another language. You’ll probably really struggle if you don’t speak Spanish, but other people will just be intrigued by your language and try to communicate with you how they can.
• The closeness and accessibility. I’ve raved about this enough, so I won’t go more into it, but Spain’s transit is amazing. Being next door to the rest of Europe is amazing. In the US, we have everything to see for sure, but you can’t drive 4 hours and be in France! 
• My friends here.  Pilar is awesome. The Preston family is awesome. Vicki and I have gotten to know each other better. I like my coworkers. With more time in Spain, I'd definitely work a lot harder to meet more people, but the ones that I do know, I know really well, and I care about so, so much. That's what makes it really so hard to leave. 

When anticipating going home, it's hard not to focus on all the of the great things in Spain and all the "bad" things at home.  I absolutely love “living” in Spain.  It’s not always easy, and it’s seldom comfortable, and I know that if I did it for a really long period of time, it could be a much, much different situation.  The reality is that I wouldn't call one place better, but they're each great for different reasons.  There are plenty of things that I cannot stand about Spain, and the same is to be said about the US.  But there are also so many things about each place that I love.  Now to keep looking for a way to get the best of both worlds...